• Home
  • About Us
  • Work With Us
  • Social Media News
  • Privacy & Terms
  • Thunderbolt Social Media
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Dangerous Cupcake Lifestyle

  • Entertainment
  • Travel
  • Food & Wine
    • Wine
    • Cupcakes
  • Disney & Marvel
    • Disney
    • Marvel
  • Crafts, Cars & Cool Things
    • Crafts
    • Cars
    • Dogs
    • Cool Things
    • Technology
  • Home & Life
You are here: Home / Lifestyle / What Not to Say to Someone After a Job Lay Off

What Not to Say to Someone After a Job Lay Off

June 24, 2013 By Donna Biroczky 5 Comments

Tweet
Share8
Pin
8 Shares

Dealing with a layoff

5 Things Not to Say to People After a Job Layoff 

After a job lay off, you may be quiet, or you may want to talk to a lot of people. I had a lot of conversations with people. I mean, let’s be real, I had the time and I was in shock. Some things people said to me were insightful and kind. Other things were cruel and thoughtless. I put together a list of the top five things you should never say to a person after a job lay off, if you want to keep them as friends or help them feel good about themselves.

  •       “That means something even better is right around the corner!” It may be true, but when someone is wondering how they’re going to pay the bills, the sunny horizon cliché is just that, a cliché. Avoid clichés.
  •      “You were lucky to have that job as long as you did. You won’t get another like that.” Not only is that response extremely discouraging, but you don’t really know if they’ll get another job like that, especially if it’s not in your field.  It also really, truly, honestly implies that you feel the person was just that: lucky. Who wants to be told they got their job, where they put their heart on a daily basis, because of luck? Anyone? Even if someone finds their job by “luck,” it took a whole lot more than that to keep it as long as they did.
  •       “Take some time off to decide what you want to do.” In an ideal world, this would be possible, but rare are the people who work for fun and not for the income, so taking time away is a luxury not everyone can afford. If someone can afford this, they’ll do it; if they’re not doing it, there’s a reason that doesn’t need to be pointed out, as most people don’t want to be put in the position of having to say “sorry, but my highly-personal financial situation doesn’t allow for a gap in income.”
  •       “Have you thought about trying a new field or starting over?” This isn’t the worst thing you could say after a layoff, but still, don’t say it. When someone’s job hunting and can’t get something right away, trust me, they’re thinking about what they can do. Change fields? Go back to school? Entry-level? None of them are pretty, and they get exponentially uglier the longer someone had their prior job or the longer they are out of work. When you’re 40 and worked in the same job for 20 years then are finding that a new job in your longstanding field is difficult to secure, the idea of starting over as a receptionist for minimum wage is not attractive.
  •      “Why aren’t you just taking anything that you get offered until you can find what you want?” Let’s look at it this way. Your resume says high-level management for 23 years, on a one-page resume because that’s all you’ve done. Then you take a minimum-wage job just to get a paycheck, which then goes at the top of your resume. See where this is going? The answer is self-explanatory if you just picture this on YOUR resume. (And let’s just say, taking a minimum-wage job that’s 40 hours a week, removing any opportunity/time you may have to job hunt for the job you really want, need, and are qualified for, is not optimal. How do you get out of that situation once you put yourself in it?)

My biggest advice when you run into someone after a lay off is to just listen. Don’t judge. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Try to be encouraging, even if you aren’t feeling it. And maybe even the worst thing to do? Ignore their plight and/or act bored when they mention it. You talk about your work, right?

To unemployed people seeking work, that IS their work. It may not be exciting, but when you talk about your latest meeting or a crazy customer saga, it’s not really any more interesting than them telling you about the strange interview they just had or the person who wanted to pick their brains and set up a plan, then hire someone else at a cheaper rate to implement that plan.

Employed people don’t corner the market in work stories, and acting as though a person’s job seeking situation is old news is a super-great way to make them feel even more obsolete than they already do. After a job lay off, it doesn’t mean they lost brain cells or intelligence or the ability to join a conversation; it simply means they aren’t being paid to do what they know how to do.

If you are being paid to do something you want to do, be glad. It can happen to anyone, and while I hope the unemployment rate continues to drop, the fact remains that there will always be people out of work. They are our friends, our family members, our neighbor. Depression amongst unemployed people is higher than the average and while it’s not your fault if someone does experience depression, your commentary can help be a bright spot to their day.

If you’re dealing with the fallout of a lay off right now, be kind to yourself. Money may be tight, but don’t neglect your health and well-being. Stay on top of your dietary choices and get some exercise. (Adding weight gain to your list of worries is avoidable!) Find people who are kind and compassionate and if they offer you help or are available to hang out with, take them up on it. Minimize the time you have to sit and wallow and worry. If you want to be alone, then be alone, but if you need help, reach out and talk to people.

Getting a job may take more time than you want or expect, but it doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person than when you had that income or title. As important as those things are, self-worth is MORE important. Don’t undervalue that, and if someone makes you feel like you’re less worthy, find someone else to spend your time with. (And maybe tell them why you’re doing it. People don’t always realize what they’re saying and may suddenly give themselves a virtual head-smack when they learn what their responses to you are implying.)

Are you dealing with a job lay off now, or have you in the past? How did you deal with it, or help someone you know get through it?

Tweet
Share8
Pin
8 Shares

Filed Under: Lifestyle

Previous Post: « Unhealthy Obsession with Healthy Eating?
Next Post: You Really CAN Save Money by Shopping at Costco »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Christy Garrett

    June 24, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    Layoffs are not fun no matter what. I have been laid off twice and this second time around has been so much easier. However, my circumstances are totally different than the first. I agree that it isn’t a good idea to just take any job unless you have no other options. If possible, try a temporary agency to help you find a job. Sometimes they are the open door to finding your next long term job.

    Reply
    • Dee

      June 25, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      Christy, I agree — temp agencies can be an excellent stepping-stone! Things are good on my end now, but I’ve learned a lot from this experience. I hope to not have to go through it again!

      Reply
  2. Randy Pena

    June 25, 2013 at 1:10 am

    I discovered your homepage by coincidence.
    Very interesting posts and well written.
    I will put your site on my blogroll.
    🙂

    Reply
    • Dee B

      July 11, 2013 at 10:32 pm

      Thanks, Randy! Glad to have you here and hope you visit again!

      Reply
  3. chris

    July 11, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    Great post! As a person who was laid off for the first time this year, it was an interesting experience. For me, I just appreciated that my contacts and network threw job opps at me as well as networking opps as soon as I told them. When someone else is laid off, I always ask for their resume (updated) and ask how I can help. We all have giant networks, now especially because of social media, and sometimes the greatest favor you can do for other people is helping them open a door. I know I appreciate the help.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

dangerous cupcake lifestyle club 33 profile
I’m Donna, and I’m not a mommy blogger.
I’m a Marvel geek and creator of Dangerous Cupcake, a Southern California lifestyle blog dedicated to life after the kids grow up. As my four kids enter different stages of their lives, I get to do the same, having fun, loving Disney, watching Marvel, and not letting my age define anything. Phase 2 of life is pretty amazing, and midlife isn’t a bad word. Join me in changing focus and enjoying life during our next adventure, without totally starting over. However you do it, life is short, live a little dangerously.
Donna@DangerousCupcakeLifestyle.com

We are an Amazon affiliate, which means some Amazon links you click may be our affiliate links. In that case, we may make some money IF you purchase using those links or other affiliate links.
We appreciate you!

STUFF WE WRITE ABOUT

Footer

dangerouscupcakelifestyle

Breaking the mold of midlife.
Join me in changing focus as the kids grow up!
✈️🍷🐾🍿🍳🏰🧘🏻‍♀️
📩donna@dangerouscupcakelifestyle.com

Donna | SoCal Lifestyle Blogger
SoCal winter is colder than you think, and I am al SoCal winter is colder than you think, and I am all about comfort and staying warm. I want to get dressed in the morning and be able to handle my whole day without having to do a wardrobe change, and these Max and Mia leggings fit the bill. And me. They fit me perfectly. They are high-waisted, which means they help hide my tummy jiggles while preventing the rolling down that often happens with leggings. For me, they’re like compression leggings without the higher cost, and they fit smoothly so I can wear them with anything. Dress them up, dress them down, they work with my Doc Marten’s and my Converse, a fancy sweater or this plush fleece sweatshirt.

I’m wearing a medium, and there’s a good flex, so I could officially call them eating pants, because no waist will be biting into me, which is almost as important as the warm factor. We’ve had high winds here in the Inland Empire, and I wore these out in it without filling any chill in my legs. Look cute, hide the chubs, feel warm, maybe even do yoga in them. Winning on all counts. Look for them at CostCo! 

#sponsored @maxandmiaclothing #maxandmia #costco @costco #leggings #ootd #purplehaircolor #purplehair #purplehairdontcare #blackleggings #midlife #midlifestyle #midlifeblogger #midlifeinfluencers #midlifewomen #highwaistedleggings #mymaxandmialook #maxandmiaclothing #costcofinds #costcoclothes #socalwinter #socalblogger #over50style #midlifefashion #warmclothes #winterfashion @drmartensofficial @drmartensusa #docmartens
Thanks to @MelissasProduce, I got to try something Thanks to @MelissasProduce, I got to try something new and make this fun recipe for Lunar New Year. Shrimp, bok choy and egg noodles come together with a sweet and spicy sauce and a few other types of produce to make a one-dish dinner for your family. We’re a spicy family, so I added a little chili oil (and a dash of hot yuzu sauce) but you can change that up according to your family’s preferences. This serves probably four people if it’s your only entree, but could stretch a little more — I know the hubs had some good leftovers today, there was only three of us for dinner last night.

You can join the #LNYCookoff challenge by making two of the recipes out of the long list that Melissa’s Produce will supply. Check it out over on their Instagram feed! I’m trying a Garlic Gai Lan in a few days and I’m really excited to make something that I’ve never tried before. And I love garlic, so anything with it is a win.

Little side note: I went out of order on the recipes. I can’t eat beef so I had to skip ahead. The beef recipes look fantastic though! I just don’t buy it because I can only stare at it in envy. 😂

#sponsored #MelissasProduce #LNY #LunarNewyear #LunarNewYear2023 #bokchoy #shrimp #shrimprecipe #food #recipe #lunarnewyearfood #asianfood #chinesefoods #chopsticks #bokchoyrecipe #stirfryveggies #stirfried #stirfriednoodles #stirfry #stirfrynoodles #stirfriedvegetables #sauteedveggies
Throwing it back (thanks to Facebook memories) to Throwing it back (thanks to Facebook memories) to when we attended the opening party for nFuse at the Anaheim Marriott. What a blast! Bourbon tasting bar, meeting the chef, amazing food and cocktails…and crazy photo opps like this one! We had so much fun with foodie friends that night. As a Magic Key holder who is down in Anaheim often, I really have no excuse for not going back frequently.

@anaheimmarriott #nfusebarandkitchen #nfuse
#foodies #anaheimmarriott #marriotthotels #visitanaheim #nfuse #cocktails #foodbloggers #foodblogger #foodblog #bourbontasting #photobooth #socalfoodie #socalfoodies
This torch lighting ceremony takes place nightly a This torch lighting ceremony takes place nightly at the Napili Kai resort on the beach on Maui. It was simple, yet spectacular, and we got to watch it from our suite balcony. Occurring right before sunset, you don’t want to miss it. 

@napili_kai #napilikai #napilikaibeachresort #mauibeach #mauibeaches #visitmaui #visithawaii #mauisunset #torchlightingceremony #torchlighting #blowthepu #conchshell #mauitravel #mauitraveler #hawaiitravel #travelmaui #travelhawaii #travelblogger #travelblog #blogger #midlifeblogger #midlife #hawaiianlife #mauilife #beachsunset #lahaina #lahainamaui 
#mauiresort #mauireel #hawaiireel
Time for my yearly intro! I’m Donna, a mom of fo Time for my yearly intro! I’m Donna, a mom of four, grammy to two, and doggy mom to Shuri and Lady Sif. If the dog names didn’t give it away, I’m a huge Marvel and Disney fan. I’m also the owner of a social media marketing agency here in Southern California, and I have been a blogger since the early days. (I think my first blog started in 2005?) 

“Dangerous Cupcake” is based on a nickname my younger daughter created a long time ago, and since I started blogging because I wrote about my ‘dangerous cupcake’ combinations — all booze-infused, popular with friends, family members and clients — it seemed a fitting choice for my lifestyle blog. My blog is now a team effort; we write about food, drinks, travel, entertainment, home/life and more. 

We’re huge NASCAR fans, and I drive my dream car, so there’s also some automotive content mixed in. 

As I’m now in what is called midlife, one of my goals is to authentically share what life is like in what I call phase 2, where we’re still actively parenting but in a different realm. I’m not an empty-nester, but all our kids are over 18. This phase of life is pretty fantastic but we’re a generation that’s often left out of marketing despite the fact that we have more money and more time and we give less Fs about what people think. If you’re over 45, own it. Be yourself. And if you want purple hair, go for it — I do!

I’m glad to have you all here!
#disneycreators #disney #magickeyholder #midlifeblogger #midlifewomen #midlife #blogger #50plusblogger #disneymom #disneyday #socalmom #contentcreator #writer #purplehairdontcare #intro
January can seem like a dreary month. Here in Sout January can seem like a dreary month. Here in Southern California, it can be full of rain, cloudy skies and temps that go up and down by the hour. It’s kind be a mood killer, as we’re putting away the fun lights and sparkly dresses and getting back to work. That’s why it’s important to take a break, get out and enjoy the fresh air while you can. Today’s window was small, and I only made it to a few stores at Victoria Gardens before the rain temporarily returned….and I realized I’d left my umbrella in my car, parked on the east side of the mall. I made that hour count though, enjoying this gorgeous view and scoring a few deals at Forever 21, Journeys and H & M. New chunky gold jewelry and purple Converse. (Have I shared that I have a thing with buying new shoes all the time?)

I’m starting 2023 off right — my kind of right. No resolutions, just getting back to my normal, and if that normal includes returning to better eating, more activity and new business goals, that’s not resolutions. That’s pulling out of the holiday fugue where <almost> anything goes. I cleaned out my closet, with no mercy. (I donated 8 bags of clothes and shoes, many with tags! Shameful waste but I hope someone else benefits at least now.) I filled out my Erin Condren Life Planner with a ton of content plans for my business, my blog and my clients. (Did you know I own a social media marketing agency? I’ve been in digital marketing for 25 years now! I’ll have to do another intro post soon!) 

Thanks to some wonderful inspiration here on Instagram, I’m also celebrating that I gave away some of my super shapeless sweats so I have less excuses to look like a slug during my days at home. More style, MY style, and less baggy outfits. I’ve got this..right?

@victoriagardens #victoriagardens #ranchocucamonga #InlandEmpire #outdoormall #shopping #style @converse @journeys @hm @forever21 #over50blogger #lifestyleblogger #lifestyleblogging #lifestyleblog #midlifeblog #midlifewomen #midlifewoman #midlifeblogger #midlifestyle #midlifewellness #southerncalifornia #socal #socalweather #rainydays #converse #chunkyjewelry #cloudyskies #foothills @erincondren #socialmediamanager #socialmediamarketing
Load More... Follow on Instagram
Life is short, so it should never be boring. Dangerous Cupcake Lifestyle is all about enjoying life, specifically midlife, finding yourself after your kids grow up and above all, keeping it real. Live dangerously. We'd love to hear from you -- let's work together!

Copyright © 2023 Dangerous Cupcake and Thunderbolt Social Media

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT