Ever have a bad day? If you say no, come on…..so I’m going to go on the assumption that everyone was honest and said “heck yeah!” and go from there.
Pretend today is your bad day. You have to go to work despite not feeling your best, your kids are lagging at getting out the door and your husband reminds you that you have to run an errand at lunch, so no relaxing sit-down lunch to regroup before a busy afternoon. Then your boss starts to get pushy or demanding and your day only gets worse.
Then compound that fantasy — which is probably a reality for many of you — by pretending that you have to deal with the public. You have to put on a smile and listen to them possibly complain or respond in writing in a much kinder way than you are feeling. You’re stuck putting on a friendly face and trying your best and then wham, you mildly lose it with someone.
Maybe you’re a little rude. A little abrupt. Your body language conveys frustration.
This happens to all of us. We have to work harder next time to contain, but it happens. Maybe we don’t even realize it until later, or not at all, but it happens. None of us are immune.
Or maybe you are having a good day but you are rushing and you make a typo on social media or email. You can’t give a person the answer they want. You have to send something to another department and they take a long time, so the person standing in front of you — or reading your written reply — gets upset at the lack of help. This happens to all of us, too.
These mistakes you make aren’t typical behavior. You are mortified. You feel bad. You want to help the person but are unable to. Or you realize later and wish you could make it up. Or maybe even someone else points it out to you later and you do a face palm that you didn’t notice.
I don’t want it made my public when I do it. Do you?
So why are people so excited to launch a negative blast on social media when they’ve had a bad experience? What happened to the good old-fashioned route of picking up the phone first? Or maybe trying to find a contact email address? Or using their nice words, for Pete’s sake?
We never really know what is going on at the other end. Maybe people really are just rude but maybe their cat just died. Maybe it’s their first day back after a bereavement leave. Maybe they just got a layoff notice. Maybe their boss just placed unrealistic expectations on them and required them to enforce a stupid rule. They may be dealing with a nasty migraine and have no sick days left. Or they’re struggling financially and can’t afford to stay home or even have to go to a second job at the end of the day. Or their work structure is such that they’re just the gatekeeper, the messenger, the bearer of bad, or no, news.
So imagine that your worst day, your worst moment, something that may be entirely out of your hands — things we’ve ALL dealt with — is posted for the world to see. Magnified to look worse than it was and shared with people who don’t really care in any way other than to ‘help’ their friend’s tweet or post get more eyes. Who is this helping? And in the end, to what result? Have we gotten so bad that we enjoy making others miserable?
Maybe it’s because I sometimes AM the person on the other end of a negative social media blast that I feel this way. It’s part of the job, so I deal, but it can be so unnecessary. It’s okay to reach out on Twitter or Facebook — don’t get me wrong — but remember the person on the end of that blast may have zero to do with the problem you experienced. Your rant, because, let’s face it, many social media blasts are rants, may mean they have to miss their daughter’s piano recital to try to get you help, if for no other reason than to get you to stop tweeting. See what happens there? When you go on and on and become unreasonable, people who can help you want to help you less and less. A normal response to someone requesting help generates a truly compassionate reaction, where the social media manager or customer care representative really wants to help you, but the more negative or mean you are, they less want to help you than to make you stop.
Let’s clarify really briefly what the definition of a social media blast is:
- You experience something you don’t like, or something that offends you.
- You tweet the company online, or your post to their Facebook page.
- You share your story, which may be a bit exaggerated by now because you’re so mad, with your friends and family and ask them to share your tweet and/or posts.
- Your tweet and/or Facebook post is shared by first those you know, then by random strangers.
In short, it’s like an explosion of fireworks. It starts off small and before you know it, tons of people can see it. But it’s ugly..and stuff may fall on you, and it leaves a mark where it was set off.
The company or person on the other end suddenly has one problem that’s now so huge that they have no real time to fix the initial problem you experienced and are instead doing damage control. They have 500 tweets to answer instead of just one. They’re stuck at work reading possibly vulgar terms from people that have zip to do with the real problem and frequently don’t even care, as they’re just trying to appear supportive.
Your social media blast may make you feel better, but is it worth it?
If the person doesn’t have a thick skin, now they’re upset or trying to understand why you hate them and want to be so mean. Your tweets are often equally as ‘rude’ as what you think you initially experienced — but that’s okay, right? Misery loves company? We were treated in a way we think is bad so we want to pay it forward?
My mind can’t wrap around it. I can’t fathom why we want to be so mean to random strangers. You don’t know what they’re dealing with. All you’re focused on is your problem, which now may take longer to answer OR may yield you a quick response by someone who steps in to shut it down, but at what cost?
Kindness goes a very long way. I’m not saying I haven’t told a company that I have an issue with their product or service, but I try to remember that I wouldn’t want my mistakes magnified. Sure, there are cases that need to be made public — bullying, abuse, crimes, safety issues, etc. — but those are probably a small percentage. Why don’t we care more that we could be costing a good, solid, quality, reputable business to lose money that maybe they need to pay medical bills or their mortgage? Why aren’t we more aware of the damage our anger can cause?
Reach out on Twitter to get the attention of someone able to help you, but leave it at that. Don’t send your friends and your neighbor and your hairdresser onto Twitter to call the person names or question what happened or even worse, violate their right to privacy. Simply having a problem with you doesn’t mean their privacy needs to be messed with. You’re messing with their life in that case.
Be kind online. Pick up the phone. Think your actions through before you overreact, because you can’t take it back. You could end up causing someone to lose their job, or their child to be witness to a tirade because someone saw them offline and read them the riot act solely based on what they read on Twitter. Whatever they did, chances are that it’s not worthy of the public humiliation. I’m not a parent who disciplines via humiliation on social media or my marital woes on Facebook, so I’m not a fan of dragging the public into what should rightfully be a private situation.
Pretend you are the one at fault here — or perceived at fault. How would you want that person to handle it? Yeah, that’s what you should do… Skip the social media blast and handle it the old-fashioned way. Even in today’s social media-centric world, kindness matters.
Great points!! I share many of your feelings. This is a guest post I wrote for Spin Sucks about that type thing (similar anyway): http://spinsucks.com/social-media/complain-on-twitter/
I’ve considered blasting people/businesses like this quite often. But I have always erred on the side of caution, reaching out to them “behind the scenes” so to speak; and almost always have been able to take care of whatever problem or perceived slight without blowing things out of proportion.
Even when others ask me to amplify tweets or posts like this, I try to get a little background on the matter before I jump into the fray.
Thanks for a great reminder to be kind; honey catches more flies than vinegar every day!
I really get what you are trying to say. But “suppose” that this business you are very, very upset with does not have someone that you can get in touch with here in the U.S. That this business that is a U.S. based business has outsourced all of their Customer Service to the Philippines? That this U.S. based business has taken money from you (A very reputable business at that) and you’ve tried for over a month to reach someone who can help you because they’ve messed up and haven’t delivered a gift you’ve ordered and paid for and told you that they are sorry but do not have anyone they can send you to in the U.S.?? This is extremely frustrating to say the least? What is a person to do?? I would like any advice you have to offer. Thank you.
I always approach PEOPLE regarding with respect first and foremost.. But I absolutely refuse to be taken advantage of.. We as consumers already get the short end of the stick.. So if I have an issue with a company that has legitimately done me wrong or dont stand by their product.. I will plaster my thorough negative experience all over their social media. This is the only way we the little people can fight back so by all means use it. The previous 2 situations I had 1 with a large furniture chain selling bogus warranties that doesnt cover anything caved in after about a week.. so I believe it if effective. If properly written.
I scheduled moving helpers from Dolly. Com today. Here is what happened: I scheduled two helpers to move my daughter out of her dorm room today (on third floor). They were scheduled for 10:00 AM. 10:00 was a no show. 10:30 was a no show. 11:00 was a no show, when I contacted customer service, they said helpers cancelled and they needed to find new helpers. It’s 4:00 PM and I’m still waiting for new helpers to be assigned to me. Well, since the deadline to move out was 12:00 noon, I did the work myself. I’m nearly 60 years old and it nearly killed me. I would never use Dolly again!!!! STAY CLEAR of this on-line moving app unless you don’t mind getting stood up or you have a one week window in your schedule. But for dependable on-time service, DOLLY. COM is not the place to be looking!!!! The damage is done!!! Now, should I blast this or am I overblowing the situation? Thanks.
So, what happens when you are unable to get through to the company because their posted number has a perpetual busy signal, they use GetHuman then wants to charge you $5 for helping resolve your problem, and the only access to customer service keeps giving you the same canned response without listening to your problem? And, there terms of service which protect them in every sense literally say “Either you or eharmony may terminate your account at any time, for any reason or no reason, without explanation, effective upon sending written notice to the other party. eharmony reserves the right to immediately suspend or terminate your access to any of the Services, without notice, for any reason or no reason. We also reserve the right to remove your account information or data from our Services and any other records if your account and/or access to the Services is terminated. In the event your access to any of the Services is suspended due to a material breach of this Agreement, you agree that all fees then paid to eharmony by you will be nonrefundable.” It seems like a company like this may need to have its terms posted for others to take a harder look at what the company is truly about. A company who says they can cancel you without a reason, yet you are still obligated to pay. What kind of company is that? I want to not blast my aggravation as much as the specifics regarding the company. Like, try to call. See if anybody will answer. Am I wrong? Solution advice?
Jairo Osiris Barrera
I’ve been trying to contact twitter support for two years now they never respond. Or help There’s a therd party attached to twitter account that has been posting tweets on My twitter feed that I never posted there’s apps on my twitter account that I was not aware of I’ve asked twitter support to remove them alots of times and instead they suspended My twitter account for 2 year’s My twitter account osirisomg means the world to me please help me get it back that’s all I’m asking please Ive asked twitter support via email alots of times 2 review My case I’m stuck in an endless loop of the same automated response email s. I have never used someone else is copyright matirial I’m sure the person that made such copy right clams dose not own such material that to my understanding has been removed from my twitter *******@osirisomg I can’t send proof or URL s or links of something I never posted and that has been removed from my twitter account all I’m trying to do is get my twitter account back and the copyright strike off My twitter account I’m sure 100 percent there false copyright clams they can’t clam to own something they stole from the original owner please help me please who reads this please help me