Facebook Peeves and Dealing with the Facebook Craziness

I love social media. Iโ€™ve worked in it for a long time, in one form or another, and kind of grew up with it. Itโ€™s been fun watching the career evolve and change as society required it. Itโ€™s definitely not the same thing it was when I started, but thatโ€™s okay; itโ€™s better now, though I like to think the basics are still the same, which is that weโ€™re making online connections and building ourselves a community of people from all over, from all lifestyles, all sizes, shapes, colors and interests, and weโ€™re benefiting.

However, there are days I donโ€™t feel like Iโ€™m benefiting. Iโ€™m not getting anything out of it when someone Iโ€™ve friended posts in a way thatโ€™s intended to chastise everyone else. I have a few Facebook peeves that ruin the positive experience (for me) and probably my biggest is when someone says โ€œParents/co-workers/moms/<insert category>, you MUST xxxโ€ฆor your children will go to hell/die/turn purple!โ€

My finger hovers over the unfriend button almost every time this happens, no matter who it is. Thereโ€™s a way to share information and thereโ€™s a way to tell people that your way is the only way and they should do it your wayโ€ฆand those two ways are entirely different.bullytransparentUsing social media as a bully pulpit is misuse of the technology. If youโ€™ve read my blog for long, youโ€™ll see I wrote about women empowering each other and how we need to use social media for good. I really believe that. We can uplift and support, and if we donโ€™t agree, we can at least respect. We fight for freedom of choice and tolerance, and that tolerance means tolerating different opinions.

I teach my kids the basic credo: If you canโ€™t say something nice, donโ€™t say anything at all, but weโ€™re being desensitized by the ability to throw out a few random phrases and walk away knowing weโ€™ll likely never really see that person in real life. We can get away with it, but is it right?

Social media serves so many positive purposes. Business use aside, as I always stand behind its complete necessity for business, the list of reasons we need it is long. Iโ€™ll put the majority of those reasons in the following four buckets:

Making friends.
Educating ourselves.
Networking for jobs, services, products.
Getting support.

On a typical day, I chat with a friend cross-country. I look at pictures of another friendโ€™s children. I seek out some recipes and read up on the latest of social media tools and tips. I research products I want to buy, where to get the best price, and read reviews. I talk to friends, either in town or another state, about whatโ€™s going on with the kids and we support each other. We listen. We give advice and answer questions for each other. We laugh together.

And thatโ€™s probably the thing I ought to put first: laughter. I like my social media experience to be fun, first and foremost, and if you drag that down, well, that unfriend button is there. Why do I say that so cavalierly? Because if youโ€™re someone who is negative and not fun, complaining about the same things over and over again that we ALL deal with and donโ€™t need to read about, then chances are that we arenโ€™t close friends anyway.

So one day not too long ago, I went a little crazy. Iโ€™d seen one too many bully pulpit and chastising posts and decided that I really had a say in what I had to read; itโ€™s MY feed, and I can choose what I let clutter it up. I clicked on my Friends list and worked my way down, unfriending quite a few people. I didnโ€™t announce it on Facebook โ€“ what purpose would that serve, and those who made the cut, per se, wouldnโ€™t notice anything different anyway. Iโ€™m not one to talk about people publicly. Most people see through that anyway, and see your attack on someone else for what it is, a way to make yourself feel superior or bash someone, and itโ€™s just so unnecessary. And unprofessional.

In the end, I unfriended about 45 people. And you know what? It felt great. I donโ€™t dread seeing my feed, and I donโ€™t scroll super-fast, missing cool things because I donโ€™t want to see another โ€œNot having a good dayโ€ post by the same person who canโ€™t just speak her mind and say โ€œI need support today.โ€ (Iโ€™m a big fan of being honest, speak up and tell people where they stand or what you need. Better for everyone. Lifeโ€™s too short!)

My list of friends is short by choice. Facebook, like any social media page, is an option. We donโ€™t have to be on it. We also donโ€™t have to use it to allow things into our lives that we donโ€™t want. I wonโ€™t unfriend someone for a different political view, a different health viewpoint or a different parenting viewpoint; we are all entitled and what a boring place it would be if we all agreed. However, I will unfriend if you allow nastiness towards your friends in conversations or if all of your feed is bashing the โ€˜other side.โ€™

Lifeโ€™s stressful enough but we donโ€™t need to let the mental drain make it worse. Take a stand for yourself and make your social media pages work for you. (And donโ€™t get me started on how I feel about following a personal page only to have it turn into a spam sales page or a professional/business page that segues into a political soapbox. Click.)

Go crazy now and thenโ€ฆand I mean in a non-violent, non-harmful kind of way. Clean up your Facebook feed. Shut out the constant negativity or attacks. Surround yourself with your favorite things and people and see if you donโ€™t have a better day.

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6 Comments

    1. Thanks! I totally agree — I hate confrontations and unnecessary problems, so no need to invite them into our home ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. I am with you there Donna! I unfriended a couple of people a few months ago and it felt good. I get that some people may not always be positive but some people take it too far! I like to keep FB for real friends!

    1. Same here! I don’t just friend strangers — there has to be a connection of some sort. I felt like when I unfriended the negative ones, the wall is so much friendlier and happier!

  2. Way to go!! It sure makes things a lot more enjoyable when you don’t have that on you — sometimes we feel a sense of obligation but there’s no point. Life’s too short! ๐Ÿ™‚

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