Getting Through the Holidays vs Enjoying the Holidays
As a busy mom with a large family, I’ve found myself in the past saying “just gotta get through the holidays and then we’ll….” as a response. Getting through the holidays wishes it away and removes some of the magic, yet it’s so much easier said than done to focus on enjoyment instead of task completion.
The holidays are typically busy for everyone, but if you’re a mom trying to pull it all together — the menu, the shopping, the wrapping, the decorations, the events — it’s a special kind of busy. It’s the kind you want to avoid, but if you don’t do ALL THE THINGS, the holiday may not be PERFECT. And Christmas has to be, right?
I aim for that perfect Christmas every year. The stress I put on myself is enormous, but I know I’m not alone. There’s just so much to get done, while we’re still working, keeping the house clean and running it all as normal. Add in a medical procedure two weeks before the big day and I almost cancelled it because I didn’t want to lose 2-3 days of prime Christmas prep time.
2024 has been the worst year and enjoyment is a struggle and a challenge, and I feel like I scraped by, barely meeting all my own expectations. If you ask the family, I’m pretty sure they’ll tell you that it was a good holiday, as good as one we could experience, given the circumstances. Everyone’s heart was heavy and we all had to redirect our emotions at times, but we got out and did Christmas things. Drank holiday cocktails. Found gifts we know others would love. (And one of my daughters made beautiful gifts for us! Mad kudos, I didn’t even attempt it this year. I felt a weird sense of extreme ADHD the whole season, a ramped up level of bouncing from one thing to another, I don’t think I’d have gotten anything finished.)
We got out, didn’t cancel <many> plans, pushed through even on some days that felt like we should instead be home in fuzzy socks with closed curtains. We didn’t host anything, but we attended some events. I baked, not enough to share with my neighbors and friends like I have in the past, but each family member got their favorite cookie or bread. My social media platforms show a lot less of our reality than normal, and my Instagram isn’t getting regular posts just yet. I have a camera roll full of memories, because now more than ever, we value photos of and with those we love, but few make it onto the feed.
The decor inside and out is pretty standard, and I’m glad for the festivity from one end of the downstairs to another. Our house looks normal to passersby, for whatever that’s worth. It’s a semblance of normalcy that we need. Routines and consistency can do wonders for your mental health, trust me.
For the first time in over a decade, I took time off for Christmas. I am self-employed, so I don’t get paid if I don’t work, but I wanted to prioritize my family and the holiday. I decided to enjoy the hell out of every single minute, which took some doing…yet it was also incredibly simple after I committed to it.
Getting through the holidays may seem like semantics to some, but as a parent of adult children, I wish I could go back many days to when they were all small. Moms are rushing from one thing to another, it flies by, and we wish for the exhausting stages or potty training or anything to be done with. We strive to get through it, because it’s necessary. It’s vital. But we need to enjoy it, because time is finite.
While off on my ‘vacation,’ I sprinkled cinnamon in my coffee grounds and enjoyed coffee on the balcony with the pups. I wrapped myself in a blanket and warmed my hands with strong coffee to wake up my brain. No rush. No “hang on, I’m just going to drink my coffee real quick and then I’ll…” moments. I enjoyed my coffee while watching the world go by.
I lit candles. I’ve got a fantastic smelling balsam candle from Bath & Body Works burning behind me as I type. I created a super-basic way to make hot cocoa from scratch, without all the extra sugar and crap. Then I covered it with a squirt of whipped cream. (Low-cal and a tiny indulgence.) I cranked up playlists of my favorite Christmas carols or holiday songs on Spotify, playing throughout the house on our various Alexa devices. I tried to make every holiday task just a little more enjoyable, looping in the kids or the husband as often as I could.
Instead of ‘getting through the holidays,’ I experienced them this year. It felt so important to enjoy it for the sake of all of our family, to acknowledge what we’re going through while not feeling guilty about smiling. I sought out restaurants with happy hour deals, with the requirement that they had to be covered in holiday glitz and glam. Holiday cocktail menu? Let’s go. This wasn’t the year that I was going to be okay with looking back and thinking “dangit, I didn’t get to <see Santa, watch a tree lighting, walk the Christmas festival downtown.”
Christmas 2024 is in the rearview, so I don’t want to share a list of tips on how to enjoy Christmas, but I do want to share this as a general perspective on life moving forward: don’t just get through it, but do what you can to enjoy it. It helps remove some of the darkness that creeps in. Life can bring us curveballs, some of them small, some of them catastrophic. Some we can roll through, some change things forever, but find joy where you can.
