• Home
  • About Us
  • Work With Us
  • Social Media News
  • Privacy & Terms
  • Thunderbolt Social Media
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Dangerous Cupcake Lifestyle

  • Travel
  • Food, Wine & Cocktails
    • Recipes
    • Wine
    • Cocktails
    • Cupcakes
  • Home & Life
    • Your Home & Lifestyle
    • Dogs
    • Crafts
    • Cars
    • Technology
    • Cool Things
  • Disney & Marvel
    • Disney
    • Marvel
  • NASCAR
  • Entertainment
You are here: Home / Lifestyle / Parenting Boys is Just as Good as Parenting Girls

Parenting Boys is Just as Good as Parenting Girls

July 1, 2018 By Donna Biroczky Leave a Comment

Tweet
Share
Pin5
5 Shares

I took my teenage son out to lunch on Friday. He was having one of those “there’s nothing to eat here” moments and I wanted a poke bowl. Win-win. As we were waiting in a long-ish line to get his meaty meal at another restaurant next door, I hit up a conversation with a woman holding a little girl. The little girl was laughing with this beautiful giggle and I couldn’t help smiling.

“She is just adorable!”
“Thanks! I am so happy to have her.”

“Of course! Children are amazing! You have so much fun ahead!”
“Right? Especially girls, they bring so much joy.”

<SCREECH….like the sound of someone stopping a record on the record player and the needle scrapes across the vinyl.>

I stopped for a second, tried to figure out to formulate my answer. I wanted to assume that she hadn’t meant that boys are less joyful. I mean, I’m standing there with a boy who is obviously my son.

“Girls do bring joy…just like boys! Children are all amazing.”
“I am so glad I didn’t have a boy, I had brothers and they were just always a problem.”

“Yeah, I’m sure some boys can be a problem. I’ve got boys and girls, they are pretty equal in making us laugh and cry! Gotta love them all!”

It was her turn to stop for a second. I smiled, tried to lighten the moment because I hadn’t meant to put her on the defensive. I just hate that boys get such a bad rap anymore and hey, I’m standing there with one of my boys. I didn’t want him thinking that boys were somehow less.

“Girls are just so…sweet. They’re smart…hmmmm….I don’t think we go through the same teenage angst boys do. I just feel like girls are easier and….well, just….”

And then she got called up to place her order. She smiled at me in a way that said “phew.” I’m kind of glad, because words were forming in my head, and not all of them nice. Words I wouldn’t say in front of a three-year-old.

Why would you tell a fellow mom, in front of their boy, that boys are a problem? By saying that girls are sweet implies boys are not. Saying girls are smart implies boys are not. Saying girls are easier implies boys are harder. And girls have less teenage angst? Spoken in a way only a person who has not parented a teenage girl could say.

And since when is parenting supposed to be easy? Parenting boys, parenting girls, it’s ALL got its moments.

I’m glad I stood up for boys, however short the conversation. It’s not my job to change her mind, nor would I be able to do that in a three-minute interaction at Chipotle, but why is it okay to diss an entire gender, IN FRONT OF ONE OF THEM?

It threw me off a little bit. I love love love parenting both girls and boys. Back when I was a parenting expert — before I had kids — I wanted a couple of boys and a couple of girls. We lost a few trying but in the end, I got exactly that: two boys and two girls. I even got them in the order I would have requested had I been able to say, “Listen, God, here’s what I want…”

All over the news and social media, we push for support. We expect moms to stand up for each and not shame them. We ask others to empower and lift up, so why is this okay? I know this lady doesn’t speak for everyone, but it’s not my first encounter with someone who thinks having female kids is perfect and boys are, well, things to be glad they avoided. I ran into it years ago on my daughter’s soccer team and with a couple of parents I’d met at various kid events. Now that my kids are older, it happens less, so maybe that’s why this surprised me so much.

A old co-worker of mine was laid off months ago. She has two teen daughters. When she was close to losing her apartment, she told me “Don’t they know I have kids?” I tried to be supportive because I felt for her….until she said “Seriously though, I have girls. Girls can’t live in a shelter or the car. I wish the apartment manager would listen to me.” Huh? Bad choice of words or a real feeling that girls somehow mean she deserved something more?

Girls are wonderful. Boys are wonderful. Neither sex is immune to issue and neither is better. We live in a society where the male sex is on the defensive, where they have to take steps to prove they aren’t a problem simply because they’re male. Do we really want to continue to impress on male kids that they are less smart, more of a problem, somehow less in this world simply because of their gender?

I’m not going to get political about gender, as that’s a whole different topic in itself. I’m just trying to understand why we marry men then complain about having male children. What does that say about how we feel about our husbands in relation to ourselves?

We need to empower all our children to feel good about themselves, be confident and to feel loved, supported and equal. That’s equality, right? If you don’t have a boy, or if you don’t have a girl, you won’t know the feeling in the pit of your stomach when someone dismisses one of your children based on gender…and I won’t let you do it around me.

 

 

Tweet
Share
Pin5
5 Shares

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: momlife, parenting

Previous Post: « Happy July 4th: Hosting a Stars and Stripes Party
Next Post: The Short and Tall of an Interview with the Cast of Ant Man and the Wasp »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

dangerous cupcake lifestyle club 33 profile
I’m Donna, and I’m not a mommy blogger.
I’m a Gen X mom of four, a Marvel geek and creator of Dangerous Cupcake, a Southern California lifestyle blog dedicated to life after the kids grow up. As my kids enter different stages of their lives, I get to do the same, having fun, loving Disney, watching Marvel, and not letting my age define anything. Phase 2 of life is pretty amazing, and midlife isn’t a bad word. Join me in changing focus and enjoying life during our next adventure, without totally starting over. However you do it, life is short, live a little dangerously.
Donna@DangerousCupcakeLifestyle.com

We are an Amazon affiliate, which means some Amazon links you click may be our affiliate links. In that case, we may make some money IF you purchase using those links or other affiliate links.
We appreciate you!

STUFF WE WRITE ABOUT

Footer

dangerouscupcakelifestyle

Travel. Food. Wine. Cocktails. 🏎️🐕‍🦺🦮
Gen X mom with lifestyle & wellness inspo for life after your kids grow up.

Donna B. | Southern California Blogger
Out here in Rancho Cucamonga, there are a lot of h Out here in Rancho Cucamonga, there are a lot of hidden gems for foodies. One of them is the Haven City Market, and my favorite place to eat there is Belly & Snout. Not only were they on Guy Fieri’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, but they are a main stay of the market with their Filipino-inspired take on American comfort food. Their grilled cheese sandwiches are AH-mazing, but I prefer their bowls.

This pic shows you what my pork belly bowl looked like. Pork belly sits on a bed of fluffy jasmine rice, along with garlic chili aioli, red radishes, green onion and just the right amount of pickled red onion. The pork is perfectly cooked, with a bit of a crisp and rendering of the fat that melts in your mouth. I get it every time!

Steve got the pork belly grilled cheese, made of almost the same ingredients but sandwiched between bread and covered with pepper jack cheese. SO good. 

And of course, if you get spicy food of any realm, you need to get a drink from Native Son bar. The drink you see in this pic is the Rancho Water, made with tequila, passion fruit and citrus…and it’s just sparkly enough to be absolutely refreshing. (I easily drank more than one of these babies. They don’t taste strong, but drink responsibly; good bevs like this sneak up on you!) 

We love to try fancy new restaurants near and far, but sometimes, hanging around close to home is just what we need. Short car ride, casual clothes, fun environment we know we'll enjoy...it's perfect for the kind of weeks we've had lately. Whatever your mood, head over to the market, get your beverage, grab your food, and take it all outside amongst some trees on the green or on a table in the shade. We’ll be back for more….soon!

@havencitymarket @nativesonie @bellynsnout #havencitymarket #ranchocucamonga #inlandempirefood #inlandempire #iefoodie #bellyandsnout #cocktails #porkbelly #filipinofood #comfortfood #ranchofoodies #nativeson #dinersdriveinsanddives @foodnetwork #foodnetwork @guyfieri @dinersdriveins #ranchwater #ranchowater #tequila #grilledcheese #ranchocucamongafoodie @gorestaurantwk #foodblogger #foodblog
The happiest place on earth is where I spend my bi The happiest place on earth is where I spend my birthday every year…as long as it falls on a weekday where everyone else is at work. It’s a magical day, full of food, beverages, shopping and of course, character photo opps. I’d been in line to see Loki, but he took a break and the lovely God of Thunder took his place. I was not unhappy….but he had a few things to say about my apparent fondness for his brother, the God of Mischief. I mean, the ears. I’d gotten my photo taken with Iron Man earlier in the day and he made me take them off.

Disneyland never disappoints, literally from the second I shared it was my birthday with the parking attendant. I ate lunch at Carthay Circle and had lobster nachos at Lamplight Lounge for dinner. My other favorite part of the day was watching the Halloween lights go on at Cars Land. If you haven’t seen it, be there around 630-ish, it’s so much fun!

I still hear the “Aren’t you a little old for Disney?” and it makes me laugh every single time. There is NO such thing. Disney is for all ages. Even in my midlife, I love it as much as I did when I was younger. Actually, maybe even more. As a Magic Key holder, I wander, enjoying the little things I may not have seen in my days of rushing to get it all done with the kids without one having a meltdown. I’ve already got a list of future reservations, all planned carefully around holidays and events…and of course, the food. Don’t miss the holiday menu! 

@disneyparks @disneyland #disney #disneyland #thor #loki #avengers #marvel #avengerscampus #disneycaliforniaadventure #disneycalifornia #disneyhalloween #disneyhalloweentime #halloweenatdisney #magickeyholder #godofthunder #godofmischief #marvelavengers #disneymom #disneycreator @marvel #carthaycircle #lokiears #mjolnir #purplehair @converse #midlife
This past weekend, we stayed in an AirBnB up in Pi This past weekend, we stayed in an AirBnB up in Pine Cove - Idyllwild to celebrate my birthday. Two nights of peaceful starry skies in the woods, with the only real noise being a random bird knocking on a tree or squirrel running through the huge back yard. We had coffee on the deck in the morning and wine on the deck at night, and in between, lots of relaxing jacuzzi time. We spent Saturday afternoon shopping in downtown Idyllwild, drinking fancy beers at OktoBEERfest sponsored by the Idyllwild Brew Pub and paying a ridiculous $18 per glass for an albeit amazing apple sangria at a wine bistro. 

Idyllwild is a haven. Kind people, a community away from the hustle and bustle that we have even here in the ‘burbs of North Fontana, nestled amongst the pines and beautiful views. Hiking trails, a child’s park that’s easily a place to spend a couple of hours, galleries, restaurants, coffee shops and more — it makes a fantastic place to escape for a family weekend or a romantic getaway. Aaaand if you like crystals and gemstones, you’re in luck. We spent triple-digits in adding to my collection at three different shops. I can’t wait to go back for more!

Our cabin was from New Spirit Vacation Homes but there are so many to choose from. (And we’d definitely stay in the same cabin again!) Prices change throughout the seasons, but it’s a relatively easy drive that took us about 35 minutes from the 10/60 freeways. If you go during the winter, you will need an appropriate vehicle and probably chains; check your cabin’s driveway, too, as some are precarious if you’re not used to it. We have an 4x4 and would love to see the city during the Christmas season!

Put Idyllwild on your list of places to check out for your next mini-vacation!

#idyllwild #idyllwildcalifornia #pinecove #idyllwildca @idyllwildbrewpub #idyllwildbrewpub #oktoberfest @newspiritvacationhomes #travel #midlifetravel #midlife #travelblog #travelblogger #blogger #californiatravel #californiatrip #visitidyllwild #socaltravels #explorecalifornia #californiadestinations #hikecalifornia #sanjacintomountains #sanjacinto #shopidyllwild
Have you ever been to Haven City Market? Not only Have you ever been to Haven City Market? Not only do they have a huge variety of food vendors and restaurants, but they offer live music and shows on their back patio. On September 16, they co-hosted a Mexican Independence Day celebration, along with non-profit Unidos Por La Musica and Pomona business, Music Tree Schools. We watched singing, dancing and folklorico demonstrations with students of all ages….all while enjoying the delicious Rancho Water cocktail from Native Sons inside the market and eating from Belly & Snout. (More on those in another post.) Scroll for a few more photos and videos of the performers.

It’s a family-friendly venue with room to eat with your family while your kids can play in the grass, but if you’re there on a date or without the kids, there is adults-only seating in the bar area as well. They also host a lot of trivia nights during the week, so check out their calendar (via their Instagram, which I’ve linked below) and make some plans to go visit soon!

@havencitymarket @unidosporlamusica_ @musictreeschools #havencitymarket #havencity #mexicanindependenceday #nationalhispanicheritagemonth #balletfolklorico #mexicandance #ranchocucamonga #ranchocucamongafoodie #ranchofoodies #inlandempire #theie #ie #tequila @bellynsnout #bellyandsnout #cocktails #inlandempirefood
In the morning, I’ve gotta have my coffee. Once In the morning, I’ve gotta have my coffee. Once I’ve downed my two cups, I’m on to water. Drinking coffee is the easy part — but drinking water is not. If I don’t have it in front of me, in an easy to carry tumbler that’s also attractive and keeps it cold, it’s not going to happen. 

AND it also has to fit in my car cup holder. A tumbler that does all that can be a unicorn.

Enter zak!’s Sutton 2-in-1 tumbler! In the morning, it carries my coffee (which its double-wall vacuum insulation kept hot for hours), and after, my water, all without changing a lid. This 2-in-1 tumbler has a unique lid that works for both hot beverages and cold. Take your pick, it’s easy to choose which drinking option you want. Sip coffee from the hole on the top, and chug your water (like I do after yoga) or iced coffee from the straw. I takes seconds to switch from one to the other, and it’s also leakproof, so I threw it in my bag as I packed up and my bag remained dry. Bonus: it’s SO easy to clean, and is top-rack dishwasher safe. 

The Sutton tumblers you see in my reel are my new favorites! The 30 oz tumbler comes in several colors, but I chose Jade, and my 20 oz tumbler is Opera. Both are stainless steel and durable. Thanks to zak! for sending them to me! Try one out yourself and see how you don’t have to compromise or overload yourself with more than one tumbler! Be sure to stay hydrated! As we get older, it becomes even more important for our skin and health overall. 

#ZakPartner @zakdesigns #zakdesigns #StainlessSteel #Tumblers #Hydration #Coffee #CoffeeTumbler #StayHydrated #DrinkWater #Coffee #StayCaffeinated #Caffeine #tumbler #tumblersofinstagram #drinkcoffee #drinkcoffeedostuff #yoga #cupholder #togomug #togocup #everydaysmiles #midlifewomen #midlife #skincare #wellness
I saw Jack and Sally yesterday, so now it is offic I saw Jack and Sally yesterday, so now it is officially the Halloween season. The line was a little long, I had a Haunted Mansion Lightning Lane reservation at the same time but it was so worth the wait to see these two favorites! And I still made it on the ride…which had actually broken down and I had to wait but that’s what churros are for. The list of Halloween foods to try is long, but learn from my mistake and place your mobile order early. That pumpkin chai dessert will have to wait until I go again in two weeks. Bring on all the spooky stuff! 

@disneyland #disneyland #disney #halloween #jackandsally #jackskellington #nightmarebeforechristmas #disneyhalloween #magickeyholder #magickey #hauntedmansion #jackskellingtonandsally #disneyhalloweentime #disneycalifornia #disneygram #disneyfan #disneycreator #thisishalloween #mickeyears
Load More... Follow on Instagram
Life is short, so it should never be boring. Dangerous Cupcake Lifestyle is all about enjoying life, specifically midlife, finding yourself after your kids grow up and above all, keeping it real. Live dangerously. We'd love to hear from you -- let's work together!

Copyright © 2023 Dangerous Cupcake and Thunderbolt Social Media

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT